This is one of my first projects as an eight-fingered knitter, and it turned out well despite my limitations. The pattern comes from the talented Janice Allen, who is an inspiration to me with her airy, ethereal designs.
In the hospital, I was so weak I could barely lift my arms. My body was in pain, my mind was in pain, and my emotions ranged from extreme fear to anger to absolute despair. When I was well enough, my husband brought the project I’d been knitting to my bedside and left it there, encouraging me to try it. I picked up the circular needles and with great effort completed three stitches on the hat.
Three stitches? It felt like three hours. I threw myself a pity party and tossed the project to the side, angry at my situation and angry at my body for not working properly. Weeks passed, and my days began to revolve around receiving the intravenous dilaudid to which I quickly became addicted. It relieved my physical pain and gave me momentary relief from my mental anguish.
When I was transferred to the physical therapy rehabilitation hospital, my mindset began to change. I made rapid progress with walking and ditched the wheeled walker for a cane. My therapist helped stretch my hands and fingers, and I did agility exercises to improve my motor skills.
Finally, I returned to the knitting – and I did it. The stitches came faster now that I was stronger. But it wasn’t just my body that was stronger – I began to believe that God would continue to restore my health and thereby my abilities. My mind and spirit were rejuvenated.
Knitting is more than a hobby; it is part of my identity, part of how I show love to others, and part of how I care for myself. It paradoxically grounds and energizes me. It pulled me out of deep self-hatred and depression, and it has become my friend.
Find something you love, and do it – no matter what your perceived limitations. Ask God to give you the courage and ability, and He may just make it happen. He did for me.
Check out my hand-knit creations at www.quailandcotton.etsy.com.
Quail and Cotton 